2014 and old beginnings.

Often you will hear of new beginnings, and change…especially around New Year’s. People are often unhappy with some aspect of their life, and wish that it would change. Many people make resolutions that they think will improve their situation. Most often, the ideas themselves are great; they would be beneficial, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, stop wasting time online, being more financially responsible etc.  I was thinking of a name for this blog and thought of naming it “2014 and New Beginnings”, only to think it was rather cliché. I thought of “old beginnings’ which really made sense to me. If there are “new” beginnings, there must be “old’ beginnings as well. It is as if people want to be a “new person” and suddenly not struggle with issues anymore. However, it is usually not realistic that you will suddenly eat only healthy food, cease to smoke, make perfect use of time, and manage every dollar properly. Its not the “New” beginnings that count; it is the old beginnings. Things you have started, but have yet to finish. Projects you dreamed about, but have never been put into action.. It is all about not giving up.  I recently listened to Diana Nyad’s TED talk on perseverance, called “Never, Ever Give Up”.  It struck me how she had the dream 30+ years before. It was not an idea she had just got thought of one morning, set out to do it, and achieved it – end of story. The idea was one she had years, decades ago. She had tried it back then, and did not have a successful outcome. Still, 30 years ago she tried again. There was no particular reason why she would have a greater probability now. In contrary, she was now in her 60’s and likely not quite as physically strong as she would have in her 20’s. She had an Old Beginning- tried again towards a goal that she had tried to attain years previously. What if we did not set new goals this year, but dusted off some old ones and revived them? I did a quick search for quotes on ‘failure’ and quickly found a couple.

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

~ Sir Winston Churchill

 Getting discouraged is not a bad thing necessarily, but it is crippling if you let it dictate your life more than the voice that tells you to keep going, to find a way.. Here is another quote:
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.”

~ Henry Ford

 If you don’t fail sometimes, you will not know what you are doing wrong, and therefore will not be able to improve.
These are borne of my thoughts lately as I struggle with studying. Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like giving up. I feel stupid, like I’m wasting my time…. But I also think keep going, the harder something is, the less achievable something is, the greater the feeling will be once it has been done.  Why else would people swim vast channels of water or climb frozen, barren  mountains?
I have failed many times in this year- I have overshot the time I had given myself to complete the two courses I am taking. I failed every time my mind wandered and I found myself mindlessly browsing facebook. I failed when I didn’t study, because I felt I was too far behind. But, I had success everytime I did study, every time I tuned into what I was studying, and concepts started to make sense.
I didn’t get as far as I had hoped to be by January 7th, 2014. But, since my last post on here, I have performed 5 labs, sent in a lab for marking, finished an assignment, studied for and took a midterm(again). I have found a couple fellow students who are taking the same course as me, and for them I am extremely grateful.  For me, someone going through the same experience as me to talk to is extremely beneficial.  It is great to be able to ask questions, and share concerns with someone.
I have made it through this far, and I am sure that I can make it through the next week…and month…and exam…and course.  Not just ‘make’ it, barely dragging by, but enjoy the ride.
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